Friendship & Respect

So here’s what happened with Nicola and  Evan.
I called Nicola and asked if we could Skype, I was in tears after yet again being attacked by Evan and was just over it all.
Nicola said she would be home in about half an hour.

I had screenshots of the conversations and I was emotional.
I asked could she say something to him, does he realise that Drake is not the Drake she was dating earlier in the year and the father of her eldest child?
She wanted to tell me and show me her new puppy.
I told her I was getting afraid when I received a message on Facebook that it would be him and I would have to deal with more abuse and crap.
oh look puppy.
This continued for about half an hour of me on the verge of tears and trying to tell her what I felt and I was sick of the crap from her boyfriend, and her just not getting it or else her telling me maybe to stop the abuse Drake should comment on her stuff on my account… um what would that solve? and we have separate accounts and have friends who overlap and we discuss personal or sometimes confidential stuff with our friends and this isn’t going to stop Evan.
Drake watching me as I look at the computer at my best friend and around her house on Skype comes over and stands behind me, wraps an arm around my shoulders and then in his angry voice tells her that this is ridiculous I am supposed to be her friend, she needs to talk to her partner or set some boundaries on him, or something.
Drake is one of the calmest people I know, he doesn’t yell and our nearly 3 years of dating that’s the first time I have heard him raise his voice and sound pissed off.

That was a Thursday night, Friday night I see her status that she can’t wait to see her sexy loving boyfriend over the weekend.

Saturday comes when he is with her I am still getting messages and abuse.

My blood boils, I realise I mean what feels like nothing to her, I set her profile to restricted and turn off her from showing in my news feed.
I wait for something from her, anything, a ‘hey whats happening’ or a ‘how was your weekend’ nothing.

So I quietly left her in restricted and posted this to Facebook before unfriending her and cutting ties with her:

________________________________________________

Alyce: I feel like last week I learnt my value to some people and sadly I am less valued than I thought I was.

However lesson has been learnt, and maybe in the future you will realised the friendship you have lost.

I know had the shoe been on the other foot I would of valued you and your friendship more.

Comments:

Bell:  love u!! Xxooxx

Alyce: thanks Bell *hugs*

Bell *hugs*

Carlton: yes …

Cher: Their loss they have lost a wonderful person u have many others that value your friendship

Alyce: Thank you Cher *hugs*

Marta: I am here xx

Alyce: Thank you Marta ♡

Ryn: i`m sorry i didn`t catch up with you and i do value your friendship.

Alyce: This wasn’t about you Ryn you are loved and valued.

*hugs*

Alyce: This is about someone who I trusted and valued as a friend a really close friend, who I would of took a bullet for, who this last fortnight I realize what I mean to them.

She can’t see this post as she is in the restricted purgatory of Facebook and I doubt she has noticed.
Her abusive partner has been blocked and in a few weeks she will be unfriended and blocked herself.

Sister-in-law: It’s a painful thing realising you are more invested in a relationship than the other person  I’ve found moving and having kids the biggest revelations as to who cares and who just takes, better to know than be taken advantage of xo

Alyce: It’s painful and has been a blow.

Alice: We’ll always be partners in crime

Alyce: We sure will be Alice

Louise: You’re not talking about who I think you are?

Alyce: I maybe Louise.

I’m not naming them.
But I’m over the abuse of her partner to both Drake and I and her just fobbing it off.

Louise: Ok just assuming I know then (it seems pretty obvious) That’s a damn shame after you reconciling from the last time  I thought there seemed something dodgy about that guy even just from seeing his photo and a few comments he made

Patricia: It’s a shame it has come to that.

Alyce: I know some people may screen shot and send this to her.

But at the same time, if your friend is calling in tears and whilst your boyfriend is there for a dirty weekend and still sending your friend abuse then something has to give.

I’m not forcing her to chose as her actions she’s chosen him already.
Maybe one day years from now she will realise who she lost because of him.

Patricia: If anyone sends this to her then they are not worth your friendship.

Louise: You’ve always seemed to have your head screwed on right Alyce. I think sometimes people can just be blinded by puppy love and not see the truth, loose their way and forget about friends, sad really. Especially once it becomes an abusuve relationship, they have a way of cutting you off from friends without you even realising it. But I hope she knows this guy well enough to be having him around the kids

Alyce: I’ve posted that 8 warning signs of an abusive relationship and could already get him on 6.

I told her each one but yes she is blinded by puppy love.

The kids like him but are seeing him at his best.

I wouldn’t trust him personally.

Bell: So sad that i see so many people letting their boyfriend take 24/7 priority and their friends who have always been there lpse out  hopefully if she is in an abusinve relationship she figures it out before something really bad happens. I wasnt so lucky and had to do alot of healing, physically and psychologically, but at least i never let him cut me off from my good friends.

______________________________________________
Louise, Patricia, Nicola and I all went to primary and secondary school together.
It was a day later I unfriended Nicola on Facebook and removed her from Skype as well as deleted and blocked her phone number.
I haven’t heard anything from her and that was early December, it’s now late January.
Whilst shopping over the Christmas period and out with friends I would see something and go oh take a photo and send to Nicola, or I should buy that for Nicola she would like it, and then remember that I have cut her out of my life.

It was a tough decision to make and to actually do, but I was over the abuse and it not getting no where.

Maybe I did the wrong thing and should of stuck by her, maybe I did the right thing and got out of a friendship that had turned toxic.
I did what was best for Drake and me.
It was causing fights between us, and me to stress to much.
I was scared to receive messages.

22 years of friendship for a boyfriend of 2 months.
better luck next time.
I guess I need to find a new best friend.


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